That is a huge swing.
I ranted and I was depressed. I ranted some more. It just wasn't fair!!!! I worked for that time!!!! I earned that time!!!! What if others see that time?
Then yesterday I saw the blog of a runner whom I respect very much. She reminded me it doesn't matter what others run, or how they view my run. It is about MY run.
For example - one of the reasons I hate Track Night (Wednesdays) is because although we have a 13 minute pace group in Portland on Saturday, there are no slow runners out there with me on Wednesday nights in the Vancouver group. The week before the race, we did sprints and although I kicked butt (for me) I was last each time. One other girl came in last with me, but she was injured. And each time, the coach was giving instructions to others before I even got back. It was demoralizing. On Track Night I am always passed and sometimes fully lapped during our 800's. The only time I pass others is if they are injured.
I am 50 next month. I am overweight. I don't want to be a 13 minute pace runner for the rest of my life. That is why it meant so much to me that I got a 12:14 race pace last Sunday. And why it hurt so much that my official time was - you guessed it - over 13 minutes. I don't like always being in last place or wondering if the racer right behind my time was a runner or a walker.
But last night after reading the runner's blog, I stopped and reconsidered. Why do I care what others see? I know I ran a 12:14 minute pace on that 5K. I enjoyed the run. I had a special (runners high) moment (thank you Abba!) while running through town. I didn't hurt. I had a good time. I finished injury free.
Pardon my language, but to hell with the Official Time. I did good and I am proud. Last night, for the first time after that race Sunday, I went to bed feeling proud.
I woke up this morning and saw my daily motivation quote from Runners World:
The true measure of a runner isn't in time, but rather in the effort it took along the way.
Coach Jenny Hadfield, Ask Coach Jenny blog, Runner's World.com